OBLIVIATE.

i want you to continue being my best friend but that’s not what you want. what did i do.

i can’t do this anymore. i don’t know what’s going on but things are so different between us. yeah i understand that circumstances have changed but i never thought you would. i am so frustrated and it’s just adding to the other stress i’m trying to deal with. i really would rather not lose you but you’re backing away. i don’t know what i did to you to deserve this but i can’t handle it. you’ve never been like this to me and i really don’t know what to do. i’ve become scared of you. this is probably not affecting you at all, but it’s really hurting me. i want my best friend back.

sooooo i know this one guy who is really sweet. and he came to my school while i was in class and left arizonas and chocolate on mah car. and it was the cutest thing ever. i kinda sorta like him a lot. thanks for always making my day beautiful. <3

mah dreams. funny that i get this on the day i start school. haaaa okay i aspire to get into a good university like ucla and then go to medical school and um ultimately live a good, healthy life. i have so many dreams in life, a lot being kind of unreasonable. i don’t really feel like saying everything because honestly a lot of dreams come and go. but i am really happy with the way things are going right now and hopefully my dreams will come true if i can do well this yearrrr. this post just isn’t good because i don’t really like talking about my dreams that much because there’s always that possibility of not getting them, which freaks me out. so i’m going with the flow with the general goal of getting into a good university. 

i am about to step into my junior year of highschool tomorrow. just a little over 12 hours left and i’ll be going to mr. roche’s advisement and reuniting with all the people that i barely got to see this summer. normally, i’m excited for the first day of school. all my previous years, i loved going school supply shopping and buying new clothes and getting hyped up about new classes. yeah, this year…not so much. all i can think about is the shitload of homework and sat work that i’ve been immersed in and will have to be focusing on the entire year, while still trying to have a life. this is a huge opportunity for me to raise my gpa and i can’t afford to screw up this year. and the fact that i am taking such hard classes is making me feel like success is going to be near impossible to reach. but i think instead of complaining about it, i’m gonna suck it up and own this year. because this is just one year out of my life and it will benefit my future. and with the addition of a new male entity to my life, this year will be a lot more bearable. (: hmmm i guess instead of writing on my blog about working hard, i should actually go do that. 

goodbye summer of 2010, and haaaalllo junior year…